Old Stuff: Across 110th Street

It all started when an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in 10 years showed up at my door. She was as beautiful as the day we met, maybe more so. Time moves differently in some places. She was wearing a back pack and carrying what I think was a stuffed horse. On her head was a rainbow colored ski cap with little straps hanging down on the sides. She never wore anything remotely like this when I knew her but it still looked really good on her. She said she was desperate, and had no friends or family to help her. I graciously offered to let her stay with me until she got back on her feet. Once inside my place she immediately began inspecting everything in sight. Walls, fixtures, sinks and tub. She had very stringent specifications to meet or else she just couldn't bear to rest here. Finding that things weren't up to code she went back outside and decided she would sleep in the small animal cage she had been dragging along with her. I threw my hands up in exasperation. I looked over to my right and saw my friend Samuel L. Jackson from his Jackie Brown days leaning against his totally sweet, pimped out Caddy. Sam simply shook his head, and in his infinite wisdom said, "Bitch is crazy."