The Year Is 2533...

...and at the back of the cave stands a large statue of a burly man apparently called Brickbeard. The astronaut moves gingerly around the statue, trying to decipher the runes carved into its base. The statue is taller than an average man, and has rough edges, as though smoothness was not a concern for the sculptor. In its right hand the statue holds a mighty scepter, and a silver shield embossed with a great spiral covers the right arm. The left hand holds a gruesomely decapitated head with an uncanny resemblance to William Shakespeare. The astronaut shudders. Studying the language of the runes, the astronaut suddenly remembers where she's seen it. Hundreds of years ago, science fiction writers created a story called Star Trek. In this Star Trek, a language was created for an alien race the writers called Klingons. This language is still practiced in certain underground circles to this day by many people, including a guy the astronaut used to date. He was a fun guy but ultimately too sad.

Reading the runes, the astronaut is puzzled by the statue's inscription:

"Ye who disturbs the long-deserved slumber of the All-Father Barnabus Brickbeard will now bear the burden he carried into life from the womb of his cursed mother. Despair!"

Just as the astronaut reads the inscription's last line, the statue rumbles and cracks. From a small split in the statue's forehead, a key shoots outward, and pierces the astronaut's head in the same spot. Her eyes roll back into her head and she begins to violently convulse. She tears at her clothes as she writhes and her body changes shape. Soft brown hair becomes black and dense and scratchy, her skin becomes pale and older. The word "Malice" burns its way across her belly.

Lady Brickbeard rises in a mist of sweat and blood. She screams as loud as the devil then stops. The key has left her forehead and rests firmly in the grip of her hand, she will never let it go. Naked, she spins and laughs, and runs out of the cave onto the surface of a large asteroid, unaffected by the lack of atmosphere. Her ship is ready where she left it and she flies into her future of both ultimate creation and ultimate destruction.

Deep inside the cave, the statue lays broken.